Who Cares About Ink By The Barrel?

I’ve really come to hate the Gray Lady. It just keeps getting more and more condescending. And now, in yet another fluff piece that the Times has taken to printing, the New York Times, the paper of record for Manhattan, has insulted my neighborhood.

I like where I live. My landlady is nice enough, though my rent is a bit high. The neighborhood is quiet and people are friendly. Here is what the Times started of its article on the fact that *gasp* two coffee shops have dared to open in the wastes of Windsor Terrace:

This time last year, Windsor Terrace, Brooklyn, was one of the last places in the city where a resident would have been challenged to spend $1.50 on a small cup of fine coffee. The neighborhood, a largely working-class, mile-long wedge between Prospect Park and Green-Wood Cemetery, was home to multiple laundries and bodegas, but there was nary a raisin scone to be found.

Now, however, residents suddenly find themselves with a choice of businesses peddling the freshest of French roasts. There are two cafes in Windsor Terrace, long a no-frills zone next to Park Slope.”

The condescension is disgusting. It doesn’t help that the barista in the picture looks like a douche. Of course, the response from a reader wasn’t all that helpful either. Here is a reader response:

Windsor Terrace has never been populated with “multiple laundries and bodegas,” let alone the working-class hicks who couldn’t find a decent cup of coffee until the people who run Lonelyville Coffee showed up. Terrace Bagels and Connecticut Muffin have been serving great coffee to us rubes for years.

The whole Starbucks mentality of the newcomers to Windsor Terrace makes me laugh. If you pay $4 for a cup of coffee it must be great, and if you’ve lived there for only two or three years you must certainly know what’s best for us hayseeds.”

I can tell you that the above reader obviously lives on the north side of Terrace. What’s funnier is that she sings the praises of chain coffee shop Connecticut Muffin and criticizes newcomers who would pay Starbucks prices for coffee although Connecticut Muffin charges the same prices.

She is partially right. Windsor Terrace, at least my portion, no longer has multiple laundries. Carlos closed shop last year because gentrification priced him out of the neighborhood. For the record, though, Connecticut Muffin serves sh*t coffee. Crossroads Cafe makes a good enough cup and Lonelyville isn’t bad. I’m not allowed in Lonelyville, though, because I don’t currently own a baby. Baby ownership is a prerequisite.*

I’m sorry, we can’t all live in co-ops on the Upper West Side. We can’t all purchase pied-a-terres in Brooklyn Heights for quick jaunts into the City while we summer in Westhampton. This is the kind of starched -collar noblesse oblige patronizing attitude I now expect. F*cking New York Times. I said it before…

…I need a match.

*In other news, the Infangelina has arrived to deliver us into salvation. The End Is Nigh. Let us all sing the praises of the Infangelina.