Hartford Whalers Win Stanley Cup

That’s right. The Hartford Whalers hoisted the Cup. Presumably, they then proceeded to drink lager out of the Cup until they vomited into the Cup afterwards. This brings me to a little peeve:

NPR should not cover sports.

According to NPR, the ‘Canes have been around for 9 years. No mention that the Canes were originally the Whale. GO WHALE! WOOT! (Sorry about the jackassery). At least the Times, who also shouldn’t be permitted to cover sports (just like the Post shouldn’t be permitted to cover news), mentioned that the Canes were poached from New England.

Personally, I’m opposed to all Sun Belt teams. If you don’t have naturally occurring ice outside, you shouldn’t be allowed to have a hockey team. No hockey south of the Mason-Dixon line. Consider it an amendment to Reconstruction to keep them Johnnie Rebs in their place.

Really, what kind of sick twisted world is it when a team named for a tropical storm beats a Canadian team while the outside temperature is above 90 degrees? No hockey in the South. No hockey in the summer (and don’t give me that “summer starts tomorrow” crap).

I reject the Canes and their victory. Whale or nothing. Sure, the Whale sucked. But they were New England’s little loser – not as tough as the Bruins or as competent as the Devils or Rangers. God bless that crappy Connecticut team. And now, Redneck Hockey has replaced the Whale. What a sorry state of affairs. Give Winnipeg their team. Give the North Stars back to Minnesota. Leave the Nordiques in Colorado – the Quebecois are assh*les.

BRING BACK THE WHALE!